Whether you are just starting out in a new relationship or have been married for years, one of the most important things is communication. You’ve heard this reiterated over and over again, but the reality is that it takes hard work to achieve that kind of openness.
If you find yourself and your significant other fighting a lot, that’s normal — couples fight all the time! The key is taking those times as an opportunity to become closer and gain a better understanding of each other, rather than as a reason to get bitter or close yourselves off.
By learning to honestly communicate, you can strengthen your relationship into something that will last for all the years to come.
Talk About It
This sounds so simple, but it is incredibly difficult to achieve! There are all kinds of reasons that we lie and omit things when talking to our partners. You may want to spare their feelings or simply not be able to phrase what you want to say correctly. All these issues and more stand in the way of having an open conversation with your partner.
Many people see visiting a marriage counselor as a sign that there is a problem in their relationship, but this could not be further from the truth! Visiting a counselor is a healthy choice to make for any marriage. A counselor can help to provide a space for talking about issues in a rational, productive way.
Sometimes when you get set in a routine, any setback to that routine feels like a huge problem. Let’s say you and your partner always go out to dinner on friday. One weekend, instead of going out to dinner, they say they have work to finish. This hurts your feelings because it seems like they are putting work over spending time with you. What do you do?
Stop. Take a deep breath. This is a great time to shake up your routine. Instead of getting upset, try making new plans. Maybe instead of going out to dinner, you could make plans to go to a movie the next night. Don’t let your routine dictate everything.
This is also an important part of open communication. Staying flexible means both of you make decisions together. No one’s opinion takes priority over the other. Instead, you agree to approach problems as a team.
Make Every Day A Honeymoon
You want to keep your marriage fresh and fun. Don’t get stuck in a rut — find new things to do together and new ways to enjoy eachother’s company. Celebrate the love you share and never take your partner for granted!
It’s true that couples fight. Just remember that a fight is temporary, and it doesn’t mean your partner loves you any less. A disagreement is not a time for you to try to win an argument or bring up past annoyances. If anything, it should be a time for you two to come together as a team and figure out how to solve the problem. Ultimately, how you approach communication will determine the strength of your relationship.